


I Might Change My Mind (Clara Oswald x Reader)

by RadioactiveAuFish79



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Clara Oswald x Reader, Clara Oswin Oswald x Reader, Doctor Who Reader Insert, F/F, Reader-Insert, doctor who - Freeform, female/female - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 14:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17624144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioactiveAuFish79/pseuds/RadioactiveAuFish79
Summary: Clara Oswald has faced the raven and has died. You have been in love with her since she started traveling with you and the Doctor. One day you are outside and she arrives to take you away. Unfortunately, you are left with a hard choice to face. Will you confess your feelings when you still have time?





	I Might Change My Mind (Clara Oswald x Reader)

Recommended Soundtracks (Listen in order)

The Runaway Bride- A Noble farewell (unreleased Doctor Who Soundtrack)  
Doctor Who series 9- A Duty Of Care  
Doctor Who series 7- I Might Change My Mind

Clara Oswald had died. You’ll never hear her laugh again. You’ll never feel her compassion and strength again. Clara Oswald was the most undoubtedly the bravest person you ever knew and you loved her. You remember it all; her horrid screech, the Doctor’s water filled eyes, Clara’s plea for the Doctor to not be a warrior, Ashildr’s look of pure terror. Clara did not deserve to die like that, but there was nothing you could do about it.

You’ll completely alone now. The Doctor had been transported to who knows where by Ashildr. He told you to not go looking for him and you listened. Even if you could operate the Tardis you wouldn’t know where to find him. Ashildr let you and Rigsby leave peacefully without any threat from her or the Quantum Shade. You hoped you would never see her again.

You swallowed your spit as you held your phone in your hand. Clara’s father’s number is already typed in and your thumb heavily shaked as it hovered over the call button. You should have called yesterday, but you spent the rest of that afternoon buried underneath blankets sobbing your heart out. It’s only by sheer willpower that you managed to clean yourself up today to stand outside and attempt to make the call. 

Clara’s father always liked you and was always friendly. It’s a shame that you had to be the one to tell him Clara died by unusual circumstances. It is still hard to even attempt to call. Rigsby offered, but you denied. You didn’t want him to have to make the call he already feels guilty enough. You reassured him it wasn’t his fault that it was Ashildr to blame. She was the one to put the Quantum Shade on him in the first place just to kidnap the Doctor. 

You pace back in forth on the street in front of your apartment complex. Mentally and physically, you rehearse what you want to say to him. Thankfully you never had to do something like this before. On the downside you really have no idea how to explain to a man that you barely knew that his daughter died as you watched helplessly. He wouldn’t understand the circumstances and you had no idea how to lie about how she died. Clara doesn’t look injured or hurt at all. You cringe as you recall that she is still in the infirmary on trap street.

“Mr. Oswald I’m sorry to tell you Clara is- No, I can’t start off like that. Mr. Oswald. Hi. How are you? No, not like that…”

You looked up at the sky and inhale shakily. Clara’s heavenly image keeps flashing through your mind. It didn’t seem possible that she can truly be dead, but she is dead. Clara’s soul had exhausted out of her like pollution from a car. Her body crumbled to the ground unceremoniously. You will never see her smile again. A tear rolled down from the corner of your eye. You turned off your phone’s screen and sat on the bench.

“Why did you have to die, Clara? Why couldn’t you have been more careful? Now I have to tell your father that you died. I should have told him earlier. Why did the Doctor have to get kidnapped? He could have told her father instead of me! Wow. Am I that selfish to put the Doctor through that? Ha!”

You pause and look around. There’s no one nearby. You rest your face in your hands and sobbed.

“And now I am talking out loud to myself.”

You lean back on the bench and unlock your phone. The number is still there. You gulped. Slowly you allowed your thumb to hover over the dial button, mentally praying your phone would break, or a bolt of lightning would strike you, anything really to get you out of this burden. You sigh and flip your phone around in your hands.

“Hello, Mr. Oswald. This is Y/N, Clara’s… Friend. I just wanted to let you know that there was an accident… Clara… Is… Dead…” You whisper. 

You tap your phone against your head a few times and wince. How does the Doctor do this? You moan and let your body go limp against the bench. The resolve to call him completely faded away. Your phone slipped through your fingers and fell on the bench face down with a loud clack. 

“I’m sorry…” You whisper under your breath. “I can’t. Can’t. Can’t.”

Snot dripped from your nose. Wiping your nose with a tissue, you then grab your phone and unlock it again. This time you erase his number from the dial pad and shoved your phone back in your pocket. No, you won’t call him now.

A loud groaning noise erupts from your left. You flinch and turn to look for the source. A large grey tube appears several feet from you. You stand up and take a few steps towards the emerging tube. It sounds just like the Tardis, but does not look like one.

“Doctor?”

The groaning stops and a loud thud echoes throughout the area. The grey tube is at least ten feet tall with a white sliding metal door at the front. It was only a few steps away. You walk closer to the pseudo Tardis and the door slides open. A bright light pours out from the doors. You squint and the light fades away to reveal a feminine figure standing in the doorway. As your eyes adjust you instantly recognize the bright smile and feminine built of Clara Oswald. Your heart skips a beat.

“Y/N!” Clara shouts.

“Clara?” 

You walk towards her, but Clara sprints to you. She practically jumps into your arms and hugs you tightly. Her hands wringing your shirt in the process. You instinctively wrap your arms around Clara to support her. She mumbles your name over and over again and buries her face into the crook of your neck. You feel her tears pool into your skin. Your heartbeat picks up speed.

“How?” You gasp.

Clara pulls away and looks at you. Her face is level with yours and all you can see is her warm eyes with a tint of red. She sniffles and smiles so wide that her face could split into two. Your eyes dart all around her face to memorize every detail. Clara pulls away, but still holds you in her arms. Your face grows warmer by the minute as your heartbeat refuses to slow down.

“Long story short. The Doctor was taken to Gallifrey and he tricked the Timelords into pulling me out of my timeline right before my death to save me. I’m in a time loop where my biological processes have been stopped, frozen from one heartbeat to the last. No pulse and no aging. I don’t even have to breathe, but Timelord technology allows me to move around and such.”

“You were on Gallifrey with the Doctor? And they saved you from dying?” You ask. Clara nods and smiles at you. You fail to see an approaching Ashildr. Clara pulls away from you. You frown.

“It’s only temporarily. She has to go back in her timeline to die. Clara. Keys,” Ashildr says.

You only stare at Ashildr. Clara pulls the Tardis key from her pocket slowly as if it might shatter into a million pieces. She looks down at it as it flashes a bit from the sunlight. She hesitantly hands it to Ashildr. Clara drops her head as Ashildr takes it. You glance from between Clara and Ashildr with narrowed eyes. Ashildr only nods at you with a small smile before walking away. You only glare.

“What does she mean? Go back to die?” You ask. Clara looks down at her feet before looking at you.

“My death is still a fixed point in time. I have to go back to my timeline to die or the universe will be destroyed,” Clara says.

“You… You just came to say goodbye again didn’t you,” you said, “I still have to tell your dad that you died.” Your voice became thicker with each word.

“I am going back to Gallifrey to be put in my timeline again. But I have my very own Tardis. I can always take the long way around,” Clara says. She walks closer to you and looks around playfully. “I can be my own Doctor. I can have my own companion.” She winks at you and grabs your hands while playfully swinging them. Your breath hitches. “Take her to see the world and put her back before teatime.” 

Clara drops your hands and walks back to her Tardis. She stands in the doorway and holds out a hand. You gulp. Does she want to take you as her companion? Then what happened to the Doctor and why isn’t he here? Suddenly that didn’t matter as she wiggles her fingers and raises her eyebrows. Your train of thought derailed as your entranced by Clara. You walk over to her, each step feeling a bit lighter as if you’re walking on clouds. Looking at her you gingerly grab her hand. Clara’s hand tightens around yours as she yanks you inside. The doors shut behind you as you turn to embrace the new Tardis.

The floors are shiny and almost slippery as if someone had recently mopped the floors. The walls are white as well with no paintings or decorations. The console has a glass box in the center with a basket pulley system inside. The console is layered with many levers and buttons with different gauges. Clara grabs a lever and flips it. The pulley system pumps up and down accompanied by a softer groaning noise. 

You and Clara grab onto the console as the Tardis jolts to the side. You look at the glass center and watch in wonder. Little did you notice that Clara was watching you with a small smile. Once the Tardis settles you and Clara stand upright again. You turn to Clara you notice she’s holding a gray device. She looks up and immediately sets it to the side as her smile picks up again, but your spell has been broken.

“We just have one little pitstop to go to,” Clara says.

“Clara… Where is the Doctor?” You ask. Clara’s smile drops and she shakes her head. You walk over to her. “What is that device? Why did you give Ashildr your Tardis key? What are you not telling me?”

Clara walks closer to you. She grabs the device again. You look at it. It’s a small circular device that has Gallifreyan writing on it. Looking up at Clara, she’s staring at the device as she lightly traces the patterns on it.

“The Timelords only took me out because the Doctor told them I knew who the hybrid. But really the hybrid is the Doctor and I. He almost destroyed all of time and space to save me. And that’s why the hybrid is a threat. He went too far and wanted to erase my memories so the Timelords can’t track me and I’ll be safe. I wouldn’t let him and he offered for us to press this device together. When we pressed that device it took his memories of me, but I still have to go to Gallifrey and die, but now he doesn’t even know who I am.” Her voice cracks and she turns away from you momentarily to wipe her face.

“The Doctor doesn’t know who you are anymore.” Clara looks up at you and nods. “I’m so sorry, Clara. I wish it could have been me he forgot instead of you. He cares about you so much.” Clara shakes her head.

“No, I would never want that to be you. He cares for you just as much,” Clara says.

“Now he’s going to be all alone,” you said. Clara’s eyes tear up and she shakes her head.

“No, he’s not,” Clara says.

You narrow your eyes, but she doesn’t elaborate. The Tardis thuds announcing your arrival. Clara walks over to the Tardis and presses a few buttons.

“There. An American diner is now officially set as the exterior shell. Ashildr is going to get someone to bring the Doctor here and then she’ll come in here. You’ll wait at the bar and he’ll find you. I serve you both and we make sure he’s okay. Then I’ll leave you both to it,” Clara says.

“Wait, I thought I was coming with you as your companion.” Clara looks up from you and shakes her head.

“No, you’re right. The Doctor is going to be all alone if you leave with me. He doesn’t even remember me, but he remembers you. You were his companion first anyways. Just don’t be reckless like me,” Clara chuckles.

“Clara-”

“That is the deal with the Doctor. We can travel with him, but he can’t always save us. My time is up,” Clara says.

“I... Please let me come with you. Now you’re going to be all alone. You shouldn’t be alone.” Clara’s shakes her head. “I don’t want to have to say goodbye again.”

“I am already dead. I died. This is just a slither of me from my timeline right before it ended. That is the deal. We all face the raven in the end. The Doctor needs you now more than ever. More than me...”

Ashildr walks inside. You turn to face her and miss Clara shed a tear. She wipes her face quickly before you or Ashildr can notice.

“It’s time,” Ashildr says. 

Clara rushes outside leaving you alone with Ashildr. Again, you miss your opportunity to confess your feelings. You walk over to the door and hesitate. 

“You should travel with him again. After all that is what you originally signed up for,” Ashildr says. You turn and look at her.

“It’s not that simple. I love them both. But Clara…”

“I know you are in love her, but true love is about letting go. If you love a flower for more than its beauty and looks, you will let it grow and not cut its roots,” Ashildr says. You sigh.

“I suppose you’re right.” You nod at Ashildr before turning to face the door.

You open the door and walk outside. Clara Oswald is behind the counter preparing a milkshake. Her back is turned to the Doctor. The Doctor looks at you and immediately smiles.

“Y/N!” He greets. 

Clara turns and sees you. Her facial expression fell at the sight of you. Maybe she was hoping you would stay inside. You would never know. This is the end.

The Doctor gets up from the booth and immediately hugs you. You gasp. The Doctor rarely hugs you. Maybe out of all the adventures you have been with him he has only hugged you three times. You eagerly return the hug nonetheless. His face turns into the side of your face and you feel his cold nose dig into your skin.

“I am so sorry. I left you alone in your time of need.”

“You didn’t have a choice, Doctor. It’s okay. She made you leave.”

“No, it’s not. I let you down. The love of your life died and you were alone.”

Your eyes widen to the size of saucers. Clara is out of your line of sight, but you did hear some cups fall into the sink loudly. The Doctor pulls away and kisses you on the head. Thankfully you weren’t holding something because you would have broken that too. You look up at the Doctor. He frowns as he pulls away.

“I went too far.”

“What happened?”

“I’ll tell you.”

The Doctor and you sat at the counter while Clara served you both milkshakes. He barely looked at Clara, his eyes were only for you. For the first time in all of your travels you have never seen him ignore Clara. Clara must be hurt from that alone. He sat there and told you the whole story; from the confession dial to the Timelords, to the cloisters and the hybrid reveal, and to him forgetting Clara. You sat and listened with rapt attention. Finally he finished his story.

“Now, I don’t know what she looked like. How she talked. How she laughed. There’s nothing there,” the Doctor says.

“Are you looking for her?” Clara asks from the counter. The Doctor turns and looks at her. You lean forwards on your knees as you watch.

“I do know this: if I ever were to see her again I would know that it was her,” the Doctor says.

You and Clara both look at each other for a moment. She turns away after shaking her head at you. You frown and look away. The Doctor turns to you again.

“At least you still remember her. You could always point her out to me,” the Doctor says. You go to say something, but he stops you. “Nah, don’t. I don’t need you to point her out. I’ll know her.”

“How about your Tardis? Hey? Did you find her yet?” Clara asks.

“No, I don’t remember where I parked her,” the Doctor says.

“Maybe she’s outside?” You offer.

“I would have saw her.”

“Are you sure? I saw her outside.”

“Really? Hmm… I must be getting old,” the Doctor muses. “I’ll check.”

The Doctor gets up and heads outside. The doorbell chimes as he leaves. You turn to Clara and she smiles sadly.

“Go on then.” She smiles. 

“Clara, I love you,” you said. Your face grows hot again. Clara chuckles.

“I know. He just said that. You couldn’t have told me earlier before I died?”

You go to say something, but Clara interrupts you. Clara leans over the counter and her lips connect with yours in one fluid movement. You hum and let her guide your lips. Her hands grab your face roughly as she pulls you impossibly close to her. She holds you tight as if you are her anchor and she doesn’t want to slip away into the unknown. Your heart pounds hard in your chest, so hard you think it’ll break. You shakily cup her hot sticky face as her lipstick smears all of your lips. Her hands are soft and warm like her delicate lips. Her lips pause in their movements and her slip down to your neck. She pulls away and her hands fall from your neck.

“I love you too, you big dork. You should have told me before, coward.” Clara teases. You snicker.

“Well you could have said something too you know!” Clara chuckles. “Will I ever see you again?”

The doorbell chimes and the Doctor pops in again. You look over at the door to see him waving for you to come over.

“I found the Tardis. Let’s get out of here.Thank you again for the milkshakes. That was kind of you to make them free,” the Doctor says. 

“No problem! Anything for a good story,” Clara says.

You turn back to Clara with a hopefully plea written in your eyes. Clara hands you a napkin. You grab it and Clara rests her hand over yours. Looking up at Clara, she gives your hand a little squeeze and a wink. With a little jump you quickly wipe your lips.

“Run. Run you clever girl and be a companion,” Clara whispers. You smile at her and get off the stool.

“I hope you’re planning on making up for all of the lost time we had,” you call to the Doctor.

“Anywhere in time and space your pick,” the Doctor says.

You run over to the Doctor and he holds the door open for you and you walk out. The Doctor rambles on about one of his favorite constellations. He goes over to the Tardis. You pause and turn around. Through the glass doors you see that Clara is standing at the doorway to her Tardis. She looks at you emotionless. You smile at her and she returns it, but it doesn’t meet her eyes. You look back at the Doctor. He gestures vaguely to the Tardis.

“Who did this? Why is there a girl painted on here?” The Doctor says.

“I don’t know, Doctor. People put graffiti everywhere. I only just got here,” you said.

“How did you know to come here?” The Doctor says.

“I didn’t. I wanted a milkshake and you happened to be there.” He narrows his eyes and unlocks the door. He shakes his head.

“Everytime I see you your makeup gets worse. Your lipstick is all smeared,” the Doctor comments. Your eyes widen as you desperately wipe at you lips.

“Darn it. I mean! Yeah, ha, I should use a mirror.”

“Mhmm…” The Doctor raises an eyebrow.

“What? I didn’t do anything!” The Doctor shakes his head.

“So where do you want to go?” He asks.

“Somewhere simple. But first I have to make a phone call.”

He goes inside the Tardis. You turn and watch the diner disappear briefly before heading inside the Tardis. As the Tardis dematerialised the graffiti peeled off and floated away like dust, forever erasing Clara Oswald from her exterior walls and the Doctor’s mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this. Let me know what you think. A bit AU. I added a suggested soundtrack list to listen to while you read this. It probably won't end on the right cues I imagine, so you can switch whenever to match the story. Or listen to whatever music you want.


End file.
